Carol Sue Ward: January 15, 1952-July 8, 2010

Mama when she attended nursing school in Vicksburg.

[I delivered the following text as the eulogy at my mother's funeral service.]

I want to thank you for attending my mama’s funeral service today. She was a special lady. Today my sisters and I will face one of the hardest experiences a person can go through in life. I appreciate you being here to help ease the burden for us as you also grieve. I can only think of one thing worse than a child losing a parent—a mother losing a daughter.

Granny—this will be hard. But I want you to know that God planned mama’s homecoming in a special way that will help us find comfort in the days ahead.


–I can’t think of a better way for a child to leave this world than in the loving presence of the woman who gave her life.


–We don’t always know the future. We’re not even promised our next breath. Mama didn’t let us know, maybe she didn’t know herself, but two weeks before you she left us, she got ready to go home. I'll never forget seeing her two Sundays ago, her warm, loving smile, feeling the strength in her hand as it touched mine. To show me how much improvement she'd made, she raised up from her bed, stood and walked a few steps, an accomplishment for a woman who couldn't move her legs just a few months ago. 


–She also did things her own way. She didn’t like to give her age—even when I needed it to fill out the financial aid form to attend college. The best she could do, she wrote down the day she was born on a small scrap of paper and left it on her bedroom dresser for me to see. Something else, she was late for everything during her entire life except for the one thing she should have waited as long as possible. She loved to travel and kept asking us to take her on trips–the Smokey Mountains, to see Suzanne and Caleb in Missouri, even to Ireland where I plan to run a marathon next year. I told her as soon as her health improved we'd travel. But mama couldn’t wait on us anymore. To hell with the Smokey Mountains and Dublin, my mama went to heaven.

Mama in the hospital in Yazoo City. 

–She was ready. Blood clots in her legs won’t cause her to fall down anymore. She won’t have any more problems breathing. She won’t feel any more pain. When she got to heaven, she was greeted with her wings and walked through the clouds to hear Johnny Cash play “A Boy Named Sue.”

–She worked as a dedicated nurse. She cared about others. A graduate of Yazoo City High School and the practical nursing program Hinds Junior College-Mercy Hospital Center in Vicksburg, she stopped working after symptoms related to myasthenia gravis kept her from providing care to patients. Dedicated to helping others get well, after working a 12-hour shift in one part of the hospital in Greenville, she walked from her wing of the hospital to the emergency room, seeking help for breathing problems threatened her life.

My parents on their wedding day. 

Mama with Tonya and me on Easter

–Her family meant the world to her. She married her high school sweetheart Billy D. Ward of Benton but divorced after 17 years. That brought tremendous pain to her and the rest of our family. Mama valued her role as a mother most in life. Even during times of strong financial struggles as a single mother, she made sure her children had clothes to wear to school, enough food to eat and a decent place to live.
  She also loved her parents for their caring nature, particularly her mother, who served as caretaker toward the end of mama's life. No longer able work due to symptoms related to muscular dystrophy, she returned to Yazoo City after her parents purchased a house out in the country for her to live. A shy, quiet woman, she  felt lonely at times by herself. To keep herself company, she worked on word puzzles and usually kept a cat or two around. I remember the time she had that wild cat that lived behind the stove and inside the cabinets until I caught it and took outside, where it ran off and never returned. She often spoke on the phone to family and always welcomed company.

Billy Joe Shaver, one of my favorite human beings, has made a lot of mistakes in his life. He may consider shooting that man in the face in Waco Texas a few years ago a big mistake. However, one mistake he didn’t make is writing the song “Live Forever.” Lyrics from it seem appropriate right now.

I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna cross that river
I'm gonna catch tomorrow now
You're gonna want to hold me
Just like i always told you
You're gonna miss me when i'm gone

Nobody here will ever find me
But I will always be around
Just like the songs i leave behind me
I'm gonna live forever now

You fathers and you mothers
Be good to one another
Please try to raise your children right
Don't let the darkness take 'em
Don't make 'em feel forsaken
Just lead them safely to the light

When this old world is blown assunder
And all the stars fall from the sky
Remember someone really loves you
We'll live forever you and I

Like the song says, “Nobody here will ever find me, but I will always be around. Just like the songs I leave behind me, I’m gonna live forever now," you'll live forever in my heart.

The Lord has blessed me in many ways. He gifted me with a woman who loved me more than I can ever appreciate. He granted one parent who would give the world to me, and she did in her special way. I tried to treat her in a way that reflects my love and appreciation for her.

In 2010, a photographer for the Clarion Ledger took photos of us for a Mother's Day story. 

–She’s a fighter. She kept going after a hard divorce, attacks on her health from muscular dystrophy, and, toward the end, even when a tornado took the roof off her house.
She didn’t let any of that get the best of her.
We must take comfort in knowing my mama left this world in the presence of the woman who brought her into this world, knowing how much we loved her.

She may have left her earthly body, but her spirit will always be with me until I see her again in heaven.

Granny, Mama and me at the 2009 Johnny Cash Flower Pickin' Festival. Photo by Alan Messer.